7teen: Guts Don't Lie
by Dakari-King Mykan
Summary: S2EP16: Jen falls for a new coworker, but suddenly realizes she's gained a little weight from all her excess eating, and goes on one of the craziest crash diets, and burnouts ever. Meanwhile, Jonesy works for the Employment Offices to help people get jobs with his so called "Experiences" only he suddenly lets things go out of hand and people end up getting bad job choices.
1. Intro: Lunch time

**INTRO**

Another day at the Penalty Box meant another day of hard work for Jen; it didn't make things any better with Coach Halder always breathing down her back, or the fact that they still hadn't gotten a new employee yet and Jen had to do ten times as much work. "Oh…!" she sighed as she wiped the sweat from her brow and straightened her stiff back.

That's when Coach came along "Good going there, Masterson. That's what I like to see. Sweaty body and cracking bones means a good strong player."

"Yes, Coach." Jen sighed

"Come on! Say it like you mean it!"

"Yes, Coach!" hollered Jen.

"That's more like it..." said Coach "Now go out and get yourself some grub. Then come straight back."

Jen was ever so relieved it was lunchtime; after all the hard work she pulled off she felt ready to dive-bomb the food court and eat every morsel.

She first stopped at the soup stand. "Roast beef stew, please."

Then she stopped at Mrs. Sub "Roast beef on a white bun, please; with cheese and hot mustard."

She even stopped at Wonder Taco and ordered- what else? "One roast-beef taco on a white shell, Julie; Extra cheese and sauce, please."

Julie gazed her pretty, yet mysterious eyes, at Jen's beefy serving through her Wonder Taco mask and simply said "Whatever."

When Jen arrived at the lemon, ready to join us for lunch, we all gazed at her tray, "Wow! Someone's craving cow." Nikki teased. "I am so hungry right now; I don't care what you say." Jen said as she gorged on her food. Her sandwich in one hand, her taco in the other, she'd exchange bites back and forth then take a moment to eat her soup and sip her milkshake.

"Jen, take it easy." Caitlin said "And you really shouldn't be eating that much meat." She opened her lunch box revealing her specially made vegetarian lunch. Jude didn't want to go anywhere near it, especially if the vegetables had carotene which he was allergic to "How can ya eat that tuff, bra?" he asked.

Caitlin held up another one of her magazines which contained tips for landing guys. "It says guys like a girl for more than fifty percent their looks, as well as their other features."

"That's totally stupid." Wyatt snapped "A relationship shouldn't be based on only looks."

"Yeah…" agreed Jonesy "What kind of grade-A moron would date a girl just for her hot and bodacious body." We all gazed at him and he knew just as well that he used to be just that "Hey, "used to" Jonesy protested "Looks aren't how I picked my pick." He referenced to Nikki. His wife didn't know whether to punch him or kiss him.

Jen then let out a huge belch and her tray was all cleared off. The rest of us hadn't even started on our lunches yet. This was becoming very serious. Jen had been gorging on all kinds of foods and snacking a lot for days. "Jen, if you don't take it easy, you may start putting on a few." I said to her.

"Please." Jen said "With all the work and workouts I do. There's no way that can happen." She went up and busted her tray before heading back to work early so she wouldn't get too tired.

We all just shrugged and began to eat.

…

Jen walked back into the Penalty Box all dressed in her uniform, and she bumped into someone. "Sorry about that." Jen said "No, I'm sorry." said what had to be the cutest guy Jen had ever seen in a while. He was tall, not too ribbed, and had dark hair and his eyes seem to sparkle in under the store lights.

**_(Woo-ooo)_**

"Oh… that's okay." Jen said all dazed and squishy. Then Coach came along. "I see you've met our newest employee. Nathan here is going to take some of that heavy off your hands, Masterson. Hope that's okay…"

"Okay…?" Jen answered all soft and dazed, and she finally fainted, much to the confusion of the two men.

**_Intro Theme_**

**_Jonesy… Caitlin… Wyatt… Jen… Jude… Nikki… Mykan_**

**_Jonesy… Caitlin… Wyatt… Jen… Jude… Nikki… Mykan_**

_Now that we're through with school  
we get to make all the rules  
spend more time with all my friends  
always hangin' together in a place where we grew up!_

_I'm 7teen…  
I have found my own way  
I love my job, and I live at the mall today  
And I am on my own now and forever_

_I'm… 7teen._  
_Life was sweet_  
_though we grew up way too fast_  
_Still, the memories will last_

**_Jonesy… Caitlin… Wyatt… Jen… Jude… Nikki… Mykan_**

**_Jonesy… Caitlin… Wyatt… Jen… Jude… Nikki… Mykan_**

**_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…_**

_I'm 7teen… 7…TEEN_

_Still, the memories will last._

**_Jonesy… Caitlin… Wyatt… Jen… Jude… Nikki… Mykan_**

**_7TEEN!_**


	2. Eating disorder

**CHAPTER ONE**

Jen woke up to find herself in the Penalty Box for fainting on the job according to Coach, but she almost didn't care. She couldn't help but admire the way Nathan was working; stacking the shelves, taking the inventory, and when he bent over to pick something up, Jen almost felt like fainting again. The best part of it was every so often he'd gaze back at her inside the box and wink at her and she'd giggle softly and try to hide her blushing.

After she got off her penalty. She was assigned to her own chores, but every so and so she peek round the way to see Nathan, and turn back away before him or Coach saw her. Jen almost even had a little accident piling up the new ice-skates, and they she almost fell into the box and onto the blades if Nathan hadn't quickly caught her.

…

After quitting time, Jen met with Nikki and Caitlin for a little appetizer before dinner; a whole hot basket of fries from El Sportos while they waited for the guys and me to come for dinner. "He actually caught you and saved you?" Caitlin asked excitedly. "Oh, do go on…" Nikki said "Wait; let me guess- you wish you asked him out but feel stupid for not doing it."

"Uhn…! Don't remind me!" snapped Jen and she gulped down a hand full of fries all at once. "But I'm going to… first thing tomorrow." she said with her mouth full. Nikki and Caitlin thought she may want to cut back on the fries though. "I can't help it, they're so good." Jen said.

Nikki and Caitlin agreed, the fries did taste good, and this was because the kitchen got a new fry cook who had a knack for these things. "And that would be because of me…" Jonesy said as he came along with the rest of us. "What do you mean?" Nikki asked.

"It's his new job…" Wyatt said

Jonesy had been having a hard time finding new jobs, and that's when it hit him. He'd work for the Employment Agency. "You actually help people find jobs?" Jen asked.

"Why shouldn't I?" Jonesy asked rhetorically "I've worked at tons of places, and I know many of the gigs and stuff that goes on there." Even though he never worked at those places very long, he did have some point with what little experience he did have. "Hey, Jonesy! Thanks for the setup." the cook called from the kitchen.

Jonesy shot him a wink, and then he showed us a list of people he already helped. "Dude, awesome digs." Jude said "Think you could hook me up?"

"Jude, you already work two jobs." I reminded him.

"Oh yeah… heh, heh, forgot."

At that moment, Jonesy got a text from a girl whom he set up a job with at Purely Petals Florists. Now a guy she liked finally asked her out because of her new job. "Yep, another satisfied customer…" Jonesy said.

We all figured that perhaps for once Jonesy had a perfect job, but then again we also thought _"What am I thinking?"_

Jen seemed to munch more on the fries than any of us, and she had a super nacho serving for dinner, with extra melted cheese. "Someone sure is starved." I said.

"I'm just nervous about Nathan." Jen said "I had a chance to ask him out today, and I blew it."

"Come on, Jen. At least you get to see him there tomorrow." Wyatt said

"And who knows, maybe he'll ask out you." Caitlin said, and she explained that Nathan's constant flirting with her were all the perfect signs that he wanted to ask her out himself. "Just relax and I guarantee when you come to work, you will scream with joy when he asks you out."

"You mean if… he asks her out." Nikki said.

"No, he'll ask her." Caitlin said.

Jen really hoped so…

She still thought about it late at night even after she went to bed. She had a romantic dream about Nathan asking her out, and suddenly the whole Penalty Box changed into a romantic dance floor, and they were wearing formal attire. They danced ever so heavenly, even shared a drink of non-alcoholic champagne. Then, he took her in his arms; gently dipped her back, gazed deeply into her eyes, and their lips moved towards one another, but then a sickening gurgling sound from her stomach woke Jen up. "Aw, always when it's about to kiss." She groaned.

She got up and headed to the kitchen for a late night snack, and snacked on a few pieces of leftover chicken, a pickle, and a huge glass of milk before going back to bed.

The next morning she came down from breakfast and felt tired. "How was Nathan in your dream last night?" Jonesy teased. Jen felt embarrassed. "How did you know that?"

"I didn't, you just told me."

Jen growled and just continued to eat her hearty breakfast. "Laugh now, but today I know I'm going to bag a date with Nathan."

Robbie and Diego were snickering softly while staring at her. "What?!" snapped Jen. "The only thing you've been bagging is at least fifteen pounds." Robbie said pointing at Jen's stomach.

Jen gazed down and realized her stomach was in fact a little larger than usual, and she immediately figured out why- all that food she had been gorging the past week. Flashbacks began to plague her.

All the roast beef helpings she pigged out on. The fries and nachos, her snack last night, and even her breakfast now- she was eating big sausages, eggs, and butter on white toast. She even took another bite of her sausage and then just freakishly threw it away and raced up to the bathroom and weighed herself. She had gained a few extra pounds, and she lifted up her shirt to gaze at her stomach.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!"

**_Author's Notes:_**

**_I know it's not polite or funny to make fun of someone's weight, especially girls, but let's all be mature now. This is 7teen, a sitcom, it's supposed to be funny. Besides, this happened before in 6teen._**


	3. Two Crazy plots

**CHAPTER TWO**

Jen burst into tears. "How could I let this happen?"

"Don't know. Maybe you swallowed your brain too." Diego mocked. Jen threw a bar of soap at him, but he sped away. It was barely recognizable, but Jen was still going positively nuts over it. Even when she came to the mall and complained, "You got bigger?" Jude said "Sorry to hear that, brah."

"We did warn you though." Wyatt reminded her.

Caitlin was reminded of the time she ate too much chocolate, but tried to tell Jen there was nothing wrong. "Besides, you can hardly even see it with your clothes on or your jacket done up."

Jen still didn't feel any better. She couldn't weak her jacket forever, and what if Nathan asked her out on a date and she'd need a dress? "Um, Nathan hasn't asked you out yet." I reminded her. "I know…" Jen said sounding a little stressed "Which means, I have plenty of time to shake this weight off. I'll just go on a diet, and skip mealtimes."

The rest of us were appalled to hear her say such a thing. "That is just plain ridiculous." Nikki said "While you're at it, why not just stick a sign that says _"I'm insane" _on your head?"

But Jen wasn't listening, and just ran off. "I don't think this is going to end well." I said.

After a bit, Jude, Wyatt and I hung out with Jonesy at his post at the employment agency. IT was almost like being in a big bank only without the money and not a lot of people. "Dude, this is kinda borin'" Jude said.

Jonesy didn't seem to mind. "At least he was allowed to occupy himself with the internet all day until someone came by. "But don't you have to look over documents, and specification fields?" Wyatt asked, to which Jonesy merely raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Whatever that stuff is I don't need to worry about it. I just send the people off to the right job. Win and win."

"Jonesy, you of all people should know it's not all about skills that lands you a job." I said, but as usually Jonesy with his ego could only state "Um, who here has had the most jobs than anyone has dared to have in their whole life? _Moi…!"_

That's when one of the two adult nerdy guys came into the agency and sat before Jonesy. "How can I help you?" Jonesy asked. "Um, yes…" the nerdy guy said "I'd uh… like to apply for a job… if it's not too much… trouble."

"You've come to the right place, my friend." Jonesy said as he opened his drawer and pulled out many files, most of which were of places where he once worked, and began to go off and talk fast about many different places he once worked at and the things they had to offer. "Just right for an insecure individual such as yourself"

"Um, gee, I don't think that…"

"But, wait, there's more" Jonesy said and he went on about the amazing benefits jobs could give, like amazing income, reputations, and even ways to meet "Smokin' hot ladies. Grr-rrr…!"

After giving the man several options he sent the nerdy guy on his way "Remember, a job is only as hard or tough as you make it."

He brushed off his hands in a proud manner as he struts back to his desk, but Wyatt Jude and I were shocked. He didn't even ask any questions, or talk about if the person had any bad fields. Jonesy merely scoffed and showed us his slot of successes on the bulletin board, and had lots of stars which represented the number of people he helped, and the office didn't get a single complaint or phone-call. Plus, things around the mall were going like clock-work "People get jobs, I get paid." Jonesy boasted "Win, win!"

The others and I could only roll our eyes in dismay.

...

Meanwhile, Jen went to work, but kept well out of Nathan's sight, so he wouldn't notice her problem. She had already skipped her usual coffee break, and every break she got she would do push-ups on the floor; try out some of the new treadmills. Coach even caught her lifting some of the weights. "MASTERSON! What do you think you're doing?" he bellowed at her.

Jen dropped the weight, just barely missing her foot and not daring to turn around for fear of Coach seeing her problem. "I…uh… I was just…"

"You call that weight lifting? I'll show ya some real sweat work!" and he took two of the biggest and heaviest weights in his arms and began to pump his arms like crazy. "Yeah…! Give it to me! Hoo…! Hoo…! Hoo…!"

Jen backed away nervously, and almost bumped into Nathan. "Jen…!"

She jumped in surprise. "Nathan…!" and she quickly gathered a few things from the shelf to hide her stomach. "I uh… just have to restock these." she lied.

"Well, if you need some help…?"

"No!" snapped Jen "I mean… no thanks… I can handle it alone." And she began to walk. "But, Jen… I was kind of hoping to ask…" he stopped for Jen had already gone.

As the day kept going, Jen kept exercising, doing excessive work. She drank nothing but water, and skipped lunch. She didn't much except for nutritional bars the Penalty Box sold. Sometimes, she even went the extra mile! She went to the washroom, stuck her finger down her throat and vomited into the toilet. People passing by outside could hear her moan and groan as she yakked, and just backed away.

Caitlin and Nikki could hear it from right down the hall and knew it was Jen. They crossed over to the door just as she came out feeling a little floppy. Her stomach gave a sickening growl of hunger. "Jen!" cried Caitlin.

"It's… working…" Jen panted "I can feel myself… feeling… better already."

"Jen, you've got to stop this now!" Nikki said "You'll make yourself sick, and we keep telling you, there's nothing wrong with how you look."

"If you keep this up you'll turn into a string bean." added Caitlin.

Jen suddenly began to feel maybe she was going crazy, but as she and the girls walked along the way. Some guy came down the hall and took a shine to Nikki. "Hey there good lookin'." He flirted; But Nikki both not interested and already married scoffed "Keep dreaming, bozo." To which the guy replied "Ah, okay, but when I do I'll dream of something _thinner."_

Nikki and Caitlin were outraged at that remark, but Jen's head snapped upright "Thinner? Did he just imply-?!"

"Jen…!" Caitlin said "He didn't mean-!" but Jen had already taken off screaming in panic. Nikki and Caitlin face-palmed "At least this isn't some sort of story or a TV show…" Caitlin said. Nikki agreed "If it was, something would go really bad in the next chapter or after the break."

**_Author's notes:_**

**_Yep, I referenced that from Nikki's quote on "THE SWAMI" and my comment is the same as yours._**

**_"Except, this IS a TV show/Story."_**


	4. Hunger Hallucinations

**CHAPTER THREE**

The five of us met up at the lemon. We told the girls about Jonesy's working ethic and they were just as shocked and at a loss of words and actions as we were. "Never mind it." Wyatt said "Jonesy can take care of himself. Or… can he?"

Jen's problem was the more serious concern right now. She wouldn't listen to anyone and she was bound to put herself in a bad fix. "I think I have any idea to get her to listen." Jude said "I saw it in this movie about some dudes in the nuthouse, but it was based on a true story so I figure it's gotta be right."

He explained to us what he saw in the movie. "That's so diabolical it just may work." Nikki said, "But how are we going to get Jen to go along with it?" asked Caitlin.

"Oh, don't worry, she'll go along." I said as I tipped my shades making them shimmer in the light "Just leave it to me."

…

Jen's stomach was really starting to ache due lack of nourishment, and she was getting dizzy and weary. She even fell over a pile of show boxes and Coach gave her a big time Penalty for that. Nathan saw everything, and as he helped clean up the boxes, he could see and hear Jen talking to herself and acting twitchy in the penalty box…

Jen was so weary and dizzy that she was beginning to have hallucinations. She could see her reflection in the shiny edgings of the box that her stomach seemed to have gone down, but the seat felt horribly strange. She turned round and looked down and realized it wasn't the seat, but it looked as if all that weight she had lost had gone straight down to her…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH…!" she screamed "This isn't happening! This isn't happening!" But really there was nothing wrong with her at all!

Shoppers and coworkers near the box slowly began to back away. Coach even decided to let her have the rest of the day off. Jen left work still mumbling to herself about her non-existent problem, this made it easier for me to move in, and throw a burlap sack over her and carry her off.

…

We sent Jonesy a text telling him about Jen, but he was still on shift and couldn't just cut work, but really he wasn't doing much at all and was already starting to feel a little bored with his new job. He hadn't had a new client for a while and was even getting tired of repeating the same pitches he threw at everyone when helping them find jobs.

"Sure could go for some action right around now." He muttered, and he soon got his wish when one of his clients- the girl who was sent to florists- angrily marched into the office, and had a very red and congested nose. "My allergies are killing me, big time thanks to you!" she snapped.

"Whoa! How was I supposed to know?" Jonesy said.

"You could've asked me during the interview!"

Then another angry client came in, it was that Nerdy Guy who was rejected from every job offer Jonesy gave him due to is disqualifications and poor work experience. "Even my own mother wouldn't hire me." he said sounding low.

"Hey! You the guys that sent me to work…?"

"There he is!"

More and more angry people came flooding into the office with complaints about being hooked up with jobs that didn't meet their proper standards or experiences. "Whoa! I'm outta here!" cried Jonesy and he ran away with the mob coming after him.

…

Jen soon found herself in my private office at Comic Cavern, and she could smell a mixture of foods. "What's going here?" she asked.

"You're going to eat, Jen." I said to her "Your crazy dieting ends here!"

"And you have no right to refuse." Caitlin snapped.

Jen tried to get out but the door was locked, and only I had the key. She tried to break it down, but she was so weak and famished she could hardly put much of a fight. "Get her." Nikki said and the others held her down and pinned her to the sofa. She was too weak to put up a struggle making it easier to hold her down. "It's for your own good, bra." Jude said.

It was the only way we could force her to eat. I picked a single French fry, and managed to get it Jen's mouth and stop her from spitting it out. She was forced to swallow. That taste! So delightful, and the very feeling of it going down into her stomach!

The others saw it safe to let her go and Jen just dove at all the food, finish it off in less than ten minutes. She felt much, much better; at least she wasn't hungry anymore. "Now what am I going to do?" she asked "At this rate I'm bound to get even bigger."

"Oh, sure Jen, you're a house." Nikki said "What are you up to now, size six?"

"Jen, you're not bigger." Wyatt said "It's all up in your head. You've just because so conscious about your appearance, your mind's playing tricks on you."

Caitlin got out her compact mirror, and now that Jen could see straight again, she realized she wasn't any different anymore. She was the same size she had always been. "Aw…! I must've acted like a complete psycho!" We all nodded, and that made her feel worse.

That's when we each took a turn to tell Jen she was special to us, not because of her looks, but because of her personality. "Even if at times you're bossy, nosey, butt in and what not…" Nikki said. We gazed at her, "What? It's true."

Jen sighed and apologized to us for making us go to extreme lengths, but we decided to forget it, and even after eating all that food Jen was still hungry. "Let's get some dinner." Wyatt suggested. "Dude, I'm starvin'." Jude said, and we all went off together. "Oh, wait." Nikki said "I'll call Jonesy."

But just then, "I uh… don't think you need to Nikki." I said, and that's when Jonesy ran right past us followed by the angry mob. "Wow! What's that all about?" Caitlin asked, but Wyatt Jude and I knew _"He's fired!"_


	5. It's not about looks

**CHAPTER FOUR**

The next day, Jonesy still had a few bruises from getting caught by that mob the other day. "Man, I can't even find work for other people." He groaned.

"Jonesy, we saw this coming a mile away." Wyatt told him. "Ya did it to yourself, dude." added Jude.

Jonesy felt he learned a lesson this time "From now on I'm only focussing on finding a job for myself."

"Not exactly what we were thinking…" Nikki said "Eh, whatever…" Jonesy would always be Jonesy to us.

Jen came from work looking glum. "Things didn't go well?" I asked. Jen sighed and said she tried to ask Nathan out herself, but Nathan said that he had a thing about dating crazy girls. "Besides, he transferred to a new job; said he didn't like it much there anyway"

"Sorry, Jen…" Caitlin said. She picked up her magazine that started all this mess and tossed it in the trash. "If a guy can't like for any reason beyond your looks, he's the one who's crazy."

We all agreed, but suddenly a girl who had a lot of make up on passed by, even the guys and I couldn't help but gaze at her and ogle her like adolescents. Nikki simply elbowed Jonesy, and Jen sighed "Typical guys."

But Caitlin, she was already scrambling through her makeup kits, and even after everything we had just gone through. "Do I look okay? What if some guy sees me? What if I'm not pretty enough?"

_"Ugh! Here we go again."_ the rest of us thought.

**_(Ending theme)_**

_I'm 7teen…  
__I have found my own way  
__I love my job and I live at the mall today.  
__And I am on my own now and forever._

_I'm 7teen… 7TEEN…!_

_Still, the memories will last._

**_Jonesy… Caitlin… Wyatt… Jen… Jude… Nikki… Mykan_**

**_"7TEEN"_**


End file.
